Lessons I learned from loving a drug addict

This term usually refers to a preoccupation with the feeling of being in love, which might lead someone to seek out love in a way that causes unwanted consequences. “Love addiction” isn’t a formal diagnosis — rather, the term describes people who constantly seek out the exciting feelings of new love. However, experts think calling this an “addiction” is problematic. Unlike most addictions that require sobriety, love addiction requires learning moderation. This means treating the root cause rather than removing the addiction-like triggers entirely.

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You’re not only faster with good help; you’re better. Asking for assistance in moving forward in a healthier relationship is critical for those in relationships with addicts. In relationships with alcoholics or addicts, assertiveness is often discouraged.

• It is not the person who steals to support their habit, but the addict.
• When supporting a partner or family member who is in active addiction to alcohol or other drugs, it’s critically important that you also take care of your well-being.
• These withdrawal-like symptoms are usually rooted in grief, DeMaria says, since the end of a relationship can feel like a devastating loss.
• This book provides an engaging way to learn how to help your loved one who is suffering from an addiction.

Attachment can also play a part

Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today. Although it may be scary to think about giving up behaviors that have formed your “comfort zone,” it may be even loving an addict more scary for you to think about continuing them. The Serenity Prayer can give you a helpful gauge to see whether you are trying to control people and situations that you simply cannot control.

The Experience Blog

If you’re waiting for the addict to stop the insanity – the guilt trips, the lying, the manipulation – it’s not going to happen. If you can’t say no to the manipulations of their addiction in your unaddicted state, know that they won’t say no from their addicted one. The best way to come out of your own “addictive behaviors,” such as enabling and people-pleasing, is to focus on your own life. If your life seems empty in any areas such as career, relationships or self-care, begin to rebuild your life by exploring the kinds of things that might fulfill you. Would you like to make a career change or go back to school? Perhaps you would like to develop different hobbies or activities that would help you meet new people.

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• I don’t know your age, but for us, we are 60 years old and so I don’t have to worry about him being there as a dad to my children, or being financially dependent on him.
• With all of our combined wisdom, strength, love and unfailing will to make things better for him, there is nothing we can do.
• It could be that people in the younger cohort haven’t lived long enough to know a family member, friend or co-worker who struggles with addiction, he says.
• According to Addiction Center, this might involve providing money to enable someone’s addictions, letting a person stay with them rather than attending rehab, or supplying them with drugs or alcohol.

Lesson #5 – Recovery Isn’t Easy

How to Leave or Let Go of Someone with a SUD